Boxer Shorts?

“You can tell a lot about a person from their underwear.” ~Rachel Bilson

“Mirth is the sweet wine of human life. It should be offered sparkling with zestful life unto God.” ~Henry Ward Beecher

The smaller people in our home have never been fond of situations where they had to be fully dressed. Around here, it’s not uncommon to hear comments such as,

No, you can’t go to church in your pajamas.

Get back in the house! You can’t follow me to the mailbox in your underwear!

You’d better get some clothes on. They just rang the doorbell!

Where are your shoes?

(OK, I admit it. That last one is frequently directed at myself, and in close proximity to “Where are the keys?”)

Well, this week, we got to add another great phrase to the repertoire.

As you might remember, my son recently chose to sell his trains because he’s “into super heroes now.” So, when I decided a couple weeks later to get him some new underwear (he was getting those “rings” around his waist), I thought Superman and Batman would be well received, and a good complement to the Spiderman already in the drawer.

“I don’t want those,” he said with a huff.

I never got a good reason out of him, but no, he was NOT going to wear that underwear. It took at least a week to get an understandable response: he wanted boxers. And he wanted them in “plaids, stripes, turquoise, and violet.” Um, okay. If you say so.

He also opted for knit rather than woven (good call), and if you know anything about boxers, you know it’s difficult to find knit AND plaids or stripes in the same garment. (Why is that?) So, I selected a package of three in turquoise (well, it was actually more like parrot #3579DC, but he doesn’t need to know that), gray and black. Soon after came the need for our new phrase …

No, you can’t wear boxers as P.E. shorts.

“Why not?”

“Well, because they’re underwear … and they have a hole in the front.” (Need I say more?)

Well, he loved his boxers quite a lot, despite the fact that they were not going to be appropriate as outerwear for kickball and relay races at school. Then his sister decided she really liked them, too … especially after she found some in my drawer. “Mom! You have boxers?!”

“Yeah. Lots of girls sleep in them.”

You could say pajamas are our favorite clothes around here. Though I doubt my husband would do likewise, I’d go to work in pajamas if I could get away with it, so the kids come by it naturally. Consequently, the knowledge that some girls sleep in boxers cinched the deal, but she was pretty sure she was going to need some with a button on the fly, as she didn’t intend to actually use the fly (good to know.) I was already going to get one more package for my son, since he had proven his love and use of the first batch, so after school on Tuesday, I gave them each a package.

“Cool Mom! They even have the button!!”

“Yeah, thanks Mom! And hey, since they have a button, can I wear these as P.E. shorts??”

Ahhhh … impeccable logic. Um … no.

Not long after we got home, I could hear from the other room as they frolicked about, presumably having tried on said garments. My daughter jubilantly began to chant,

“I L-O-V-E-L-O-V-E-L-O-V-E-L-O-V-Eeeeeeeeeeee- …”

and my son, in unison with her, chimed in to complete their joint expression of mirth …

“… BOXERS!!!!”

Ahhhhh … so who says undies can’t buy happiness? =)