An Exercise in Priorities

"It is hard to begin to move when you don't know where you are moving, how to move, or if you are going to get there." ~Peter Nivio Zarlenga

"Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work." ~H.L. Hunt

"Action expresses priorities." ~Mohandas Gandhi


Our house is emptying quickly. The walls are becoming bare; the counter tops are clearing; the bookshelves now have more space covered in dust than books. As expected, the act of purging brings with it some amount of sadness, but I never dreamed I would find myself fighting back tears when deciding what to do with a copy of Dr. Seuss's Horton Hears a Who. I felt a little silly.

Despite their lingering hesitations, the kids have been wonderful troopers through this process. I gave them each a box last week and asked them to put into it books and toys and sentimental items that they would “definitely want to have in PNG.” Once they had done this, we carefully looked together at everything that was left over and multiplied our garage sale pile. Neither one of them ever complained.

Our furniture is for sale. In an effort to maintain normal for the children, most things are available "at the end of May," but just the fact that people are laying claim to them makes my tummy feel strange at times.

“It’s just stuff,” I remind myself.

And then I remind myself that I'm right.

Priorities. Certainly this process is an exercise in priorities. Which kitchen gadgets are important enough to pay to ship halfway around the world? Do we leave those two shirts behind to make room for the numerous sets of underwear and socks that my son will need for four years? Bicycles, baseball gloves, basketball, or some of each? Which towels and sheets will dry fastest in the tropical breeze? What pictures and nick-knacks will make a foreign country feel like "home?"


Last week I received word that the sister of one of my students had committed suicide.

There is a lesson in priorities there, too. I mean, seriously ... we could go overseas with just the clothes on our backs and be happy as long as we had each other, right?

What about internal priorities? Which grudges and frustrations are important enough to permanently raise your blood pressure? Can we leave behind outrageous self-expectations to make room for the truth that God loves us unconditionally despite our shortcomings? Friends, job, family, God, or some of each? Which attitudes and passions will bring the most freedom and grace to our lives? What relationships and experiences will make it all feel most worthwhile?

Maybe we need to empty our "houses." Take the pictures of the past off of the walls; remove not only the dirty dishes of hard times, but the bowls and spoons that stir up trouble for tomorrow; clear the bookshelves so that there is more space for peace and simplicity than chaos. The act of purging brings with it some amount of discomfort, and even sadness. You may find that you never dreamed you would have a hard time working through and letting go of what you used to think were "normal" experiences.

For some reason the act of "getting rid of" can seem very difficult in the moment, but after every garage sale, when I drop the last few bags and boxes off at a charity center, I experience a sense of freedom that never ceases to surprise me. Even my gait is lighter. It is as if I am released from the weight of those items. Literally.

Could it be that purging emotionally, establishing priorities and sticking to them in our emotional, spiritual, and relational lives, could bring a similar release? Would it be worth it to find a spring in your step again?


"One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple." ~Psalm 27:4