And if you call now ...!!!!!!!

Thanks to the new all-digital age of television entertainment and the introduction of the "converter box," my children have added a new channel to their television reprotoire. PBS was the longstanding channel of choice (and really the only option, since we refuse to pay a cable or satellite company to inundate us with nine hundred sixty-four additional mindless sources of streaming electrons), they now have the option to watch “qubo.” It could be worse; Jacob Two-Two, Marvin the Tapdancing Horse, and 3-2-1 Penguins are nowhere near the order of Pokemon and Sponge Bob, or any of those animated classics that involve more testosterone than a field of sweaty rugby players.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but PBS is virtually commercial-free! Qubo, on the other hand, ....

Usually I am toodling around, minding my own business, when I hear, “Hey Mom!

Would you like that?” only to turn around and see the Hanger-Cascader, the Smart Money Clip Deluxe, or the

ever-amazing, “Twin Draft Guard” being peddled to children under the age of 10. Now the Bendaroos or Fun Slides Carpet Skates, I can see, but Water Globes? I wonder what percentage of qubo’s audience is avid horticulturists?

This is a direct quote … from my SON: (you have to imagine all the intensity that warrants the double exclamation points) “'Hi!! This is Billy Mays here, with the Big City Slider Station!!' Then he holds it up – the restaurant thing where he cooks the mini-burgers? 'It is also the ultimate burger station to load the grill in no time!! It’s the ultimate slider station!! The restaurant mini-burgers everyone loves!!”

Hey, Mom, would you like that?