Tuesday, May 27, 2008

If You Give a Mom a Moment ...

"I love being able to work at home! Right now, I'm writing this in my pajamas. But don't tell anyone!” ~Laura Numeroff

“When he’s done, he’ll probably want to take a nap. You will have to fix a little box for him with a blanket and a pillow. He’ll crawl in, make himself comfortable and fluff the pillow a few times. He’ll probably ask you to read him a story.” ~Laura Numeroff, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

While I am certainly not as cute as a mouse, a moose, or a pig (please, hold your snide remarks), I realized today that I could be a Laura Numeroff character.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

If I go to bed on the night before a holiday, then I will want to sleep in.

And if I sleep in, then I will miss the look of my son’s face when he finds his new birthday bicycle.

I’ll jump out of bed. When I hurry to the living room in my pajamas, I’ll get caught on the video camera as my husband takes birthday footage.

If I get caught on the video camera, I will try to hide behind the wall.

If I hide long enough, my husband will stop the camera.

So I’ll go into the kitchen where I’ll get to see my son open his other presents.

If I'm with him when he opens his other presents, I will see him smile at Legos and racquetball equipment.

Soon he’ll be asking me to help put the Lego helicopter together.

And if he asks me to help him put the Lego helicopter together, my daughter will get jealous and want to help even though he doesn’t want her to.

She’ll try to help anyway.

If she tries to help anyway, they’ll get irritated at each other and start fussing. I’ll decide to leave the table.

After I leave the table, I will remember I needed to make my son a birthday cookie.

When I go to make the birthday cookie, I will realize we don’t have enough chocolate chips, so I’ll send my husband to the store. While he's gone, I will have time to take a shower.

As I go toward the bathroom, I will notice the pile of laundry on the floor and start a load.

While the load is washing, I’ll find twenty other things I also need to do.

I’ll do them.

While I'm doing them, my husband will come home with the chocolate chips and I will have to wait to take a shower until the cookie is in the oven.

I’ll barely have time to get ready before we have to go to my friend Laura's house.

And if I barely have time to get ready, then we will forget to take the pasta salad.

If we forget the pasta salad, then I will spend the entire time at their house trying to figure out what we forgot.

That will cause me to be distracted and lose the Wii bowling game (yeah, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.)

After I lose the Wii bowling game, it will be time to go home.

When we get home, we’ll pull the car in and I’ll remember that I wanted to clean out the garage. We’ll push the car back out.

When I finally go to clean out the garage, I will notice the tile saw needs washing. I’ll take the tile saw outside and go behind the bushes to get the hose. While I'm there, I’ll realize how badly the bushes need trimming.

After I trim the bushes, I will have to clean the branches up out of the flower bed. It will take me so long to clean up the branches, my daughter will have to wait for me to wash her hair.

If she waits long enough, she'll do it herself ( … or not.)

After I wash her hair, I’ll remember that I still haven’t cleaned out the garage. When I go out there, my husband will follow me and decide we need to change out the fluorescent bulbs.

If we change out the fluorescent bulbs, we will have even more to take to the hazardous materials drop-off. But, we'll never go, so the bulbs will collect in the corner.

I will come in to wash my hands and think about writing this blog.

If I write long enough, my husband will go to bed without me and soon I'll realize I'm tired and want to go to bed.

And if I go to bed, I’ll be wishing I could sleep in the next day.

But I can't because it's not the night before a holiday. (Too bad, too, 'cause if it was, I’d have time to clean out my garage.)



  1. Sounds like a typical day for a mom!

  2. Those are some of my favorite books - and your day sounds very familiar! too funny!

  3. Girl, you'd better get yourself a publisher before you head off to Papua New Guinea.


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